Britney Annice

"New year, new me" don't ya'll start with that this year. It's the same you. By March, you gone be back to cussing people out again even though you said no profanity in 2016. You ain't fooling nobody. And I'm gone be over here eating donuts and putting the gym off. Guys, let's not lie to ourselves in 2016, okay? Instead of focusing on what we want to change about 2015, let's take a moment to reflect on some of the awesome moments of this year that we enjoyed. Hey, maybe some of the not so awesome things we remember too. I'll go first. For me, 2015 has been a huge learning experience. I really got to know myself even more and I also grew to love myself a little deeper too. Even when my eyebrows aren't done. I started off my 2015 ending a relationship, but beginning a new journey with myself and God. I wish God could rub a sista feet after work though, or gone and send the brotha that can. I'm not rubbing his feet though, man feet be

"By the time I'm 25, I'll probably be married, with kids, a house and at least two years into my career." Like, who did we think we were back then? I don't even want any children right now. I'm scared to live in a house by myself. How did we have such high expectations for ourselves? Why were we talking about age 25 like it was age 45? See, we set our selves up for "failure" a long time ago. Show me a person who has their ish together at 25 and I will show you a drug dealer, a liar, a con artist or a phony. Or maybe a pro ball player or basketball wife. Maybe I'll show you that. Whatever. As I slowly creep into my late twenties, I start to feel worried and anxious about what's next. How am I going to progress? What can I do differently this year to make me more successful than last year? What kind of wine should I drink with my friends tonight? You know, life changing decisions. However, one of the most beautiful things about life, whether

"What's the name of that color you have on your lips? What is your make-up routine" Listen, the only make-up routine I have, is to hurry up and do the basics before I go to work in the morning and usually put my lipstick on in the car because I haven't eaten yet. Ya'll know I wake up at the last minute and eat breakfast on the way, I likes my sleep. For the past few years there's been this whole make-up craze going on. I mean there are YouTube tutorials, Instagram pages and entire careers dedicated to just doing make-up. I have to say, I have been very impressed and I have also learned a lot. There are so many different ways to apply so many different types of make-up. But let me tell ya'll something, I don't have time for all of that. I see women putting themselves through a 20 step routine every single day. Meanwhile, I'm sitting over here like, "what the hell does contour mean?". Don't get me wrong, when I'm getting ready for

"If you like that dude, why don't you just gone head and tell him?" First of all, no thank you. Secondly, what do I look like putting myself out there like that? I mean, I'm a lady. I sit back and let them come to me if they choose to do so. Plus, I'm really awkward sometimes and I never know what to do with my hands. Now, if I mess around and my hands accidentally grab his booty, I'm wrong. Ya'll, I don't have time for no sexy dude to be mad at me. You may often hear me talk about my awkwardness and shyness throughout my posts, but I don't think you really understand where I'm coming from. Let me explain. Number one, it's very rare that I have a crush on someone. I've mentioned this before in a previous blog (See "Crushes Suck"). Reason being, I have a short attention span. Any attractive man can catch my eye, but it takes a great personality, intelligence, good conversation and a list of other characteristics to keep my at

"Where you working now?... That seems like a cool job. How much you get paid?" How much does is cost to get you out of my business? Now ya'll should be ashamed of yourselves. I know your mother taught you better than that. Guys, you never ask someone their salary. I mean dang, if you are really that intrigued by how much I'm bringing home, look it up on google. Why ya'll so nosy? People can be so bold. So one day, I'm at work, this lady walks up to me and starts up a casual conversation. It seemed harmless at first so I didn't mind, plus, small talk always makes the time go by faster. She goes on to tell me that it seems like I have a pretty cool job and then, asks me "How much you get paid here?" Now, it took me a minute to process her question but the quickest response I could think of was to ask her the exact same thing, I responded, "I don't know, how much do they pay you at your job?" Suddenly, it seemed as if I was invading

" Hey, you at home? Cause I'm outside" Why do people do this? Now, if I come to the door in my drawls and t-shirt, I'm wrong. You don't know what I got going on in here. You can't just decide that you gone pop up at my house because you happen to be in the neighborhood. I will peek out the window, make eye contact with you and go on about my business, until you learn how to call somebody first. Nah, maybe I'm not that petty, but I will act like I`m not home because most likely, I am in my drawls and t-shirt. What? Don't act like you don't do it too. Okay I hear you, sometimes, it may be an emergency. Like, you may be running from someone or something, maybe you have to use the restroom really badly and my house is closer than yours, maybe your car ran out of gas up the street and you walked here, and maybe while all of this was happening, your phone died. Hey, I'm just examining all of the possibilities as to why you on my porch and I haven&#