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Showing posts from June, 2015

KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

Booty....I mean, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I really think its booty these days though. I mean, who actually cares about a woman`s inner beauty anymore? Everything is free. Naked pictures, sex, EVERYTHING! I remember when guys would BEG a woman for her nudes and that was a big turn off. Now, if you "Slide in her DM`s" correctly, she`s all yours. And ya`ll wonder why we get mad you come with that same old lame line the first time we talk...well, text "Send me a pic". I`m the girl that`s going to link you to all of my social networks and tell you look at those pics homeboy. Also, while we`re on the subject, lets talk about this generation of texters. I know some women are not going to feel me on this, but I appreciate a phone call. Anyone can text. No matter what they are busy doing. A phone call lets me know that you actually made time to have a conversation with me. Plus, I just want to hear your voice. Because the last deep voice I heard was my brother

I PROMISE I`M NOT BORING

I`m a really chill person. I can enjoy the simple life very easily. I`m not really the type that has to be seen. Well, sometimes I do, I didn`t wear this cute outfit for nothing. At least tell me my booty look good in this or I look skinny or something. But I`m not an "attention whore" ok? I guess that`s why it`s so hard for me to get into the club life. Don`t get me wrong, I enjoy a friends birthday night at the club every once in a while but it gets old really fast. Plus, if I go to a club I want it to be classy. But classy makes you pay to get in. I hate paying for clubs. Why is it $20 for women and $1,000 for men? Is the son of God in that club? I don`t think so. Then, where am I supposed to sit? I have on heels. I only have a seat if I pay for a booth? That`s about the dumbest, most inconsiderate stuff I ever heard in my life. I`m usually the one that gets out of the line after I find out the cover charge. Yep, that`s Britney doing the walk of shame back to her car. Sc

I HAD MONEY...TIL I MOVED HERE

This L.A. life is sucking me dry man! (Get ya`ll mind out of the gutter). I mean, everything from the housing, food, and let`s not even talk about the parking and traffic. I burn more gas sitting at red lights  than I do actually getting to my destination. And get this, I even have to pay to park in the garage of the place that I WORK in! I came here strictly for my career (I might try to leave with somebody sexy though) and I knew it wouldn`t be easy but damn I didn`t know ya`ll was gone want my first born for a spot in a parking garage near my crib. I see why everybody is so thin out here. Ya`ll can`t afford to eat! This is the best diet plan I`ve ever been on. Cheese and crackers have never tasted this delicious. I`m figuring out new recipes to cut down my appetite. Did you know that if you pour yourself a glass of pineapple juice and squeeze a little lemon in there you can make it through about 2 hours? Ok maybe one... Alright 30 minutes homie, 30 minutes. Stay tuned for more

THAT`S SO ANNOYING

I`m pretty much an easy going lady. I don`t get upset quickly and even if I do, there`s some strong method to my madness. But do you know one thing that makes me upset? Pisses me off? Grinds my gears? Makes me wanna to choke a granny? (Not my granny, she kinda strong). Its when people spell or pronounce my name wrong when it`s right in front of their face! Emails, Facebook, Instagram, Classrooms, it happens to me everywhere! I thought my mom made it simple for ya`ll by giving me a 2 syllable name. Come on everybody say it with me, "Brit-ney". Not "Brittany". Not "Brittney". Not "Brittnee". Those are all different types of people. I`d like to think of "Brittany" as my alter ego. She only comes out when I`m hungry, tired, or at church ready to go and my mama won`t stop talking to her friends. Ya`ll don`t want to meet her. So, if your having a brain freeze, an off day, or just know damn well you never pay attention to the obvious, si