Skip to main content

KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

Booty....I mean, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I really think its booty these days though. I mean, who actually cares about a woman`s inner beauty anymore? Everything is free. Naked pictures, sex, EVERYTHING! I remember when guys would BEG a woman for her nudes and that was a big turn off. Now, if you "Slide in her DM`s" correctly, she`s all yours. And ya`ll wonder why we get mad you come with that same old lame line the first time we talk...well, text "Send me a pic". I`m the girl that`s going to link you to all of my social networks and tell you look at those pics homeboy.

Also, while we`re on the subject, lets talk about this generation of texters. I know some women are not going to feel me on this, but I appreciate a phone call. Anyone can text. No matter what they are busy doing. A phone call lets me know that you actually made time to have a conversation with me. Plus, I just want to hear your voice. Because the last deep voice I heard was my brother`s and that was not sexy at all. Then, what if I accidentally text you the wrong thing. Like, I meant to say "I'm going to text you in the morning" but my phone says "I`m going to sex you in the morning". Damn auto correct. Now, this is going to make our conversation go a whole different route. I don`t wanna go there (Chris Brown voice). Anyway, dude, I`m trying to keep it cute. I don`t want to be like the booty picture chicks.

Ladies, let him take you out a few times. Get to know him. Let`s get back to DATING! Yes, I know it`s awkward but you will get past that. Find out his likes and dislikes. If he don`t wash his hands before ya`ll eat, he nasty. Guys, get to know her too. Does she even know the difference between a salad fork and a dinner fork? Find out for yourself.

Maybe I should start my own dating site: WontBritDoIt.com

No? Ok. I`m done.

-BRIT

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

JUNE 24TH FOR THE 26TH TIME

"This year I turn 26, damn it seem it came so quick. My ass and legs have gotten thick." Those are words from the great Erykah Badu. I tweaked the age a little bit. Man, I can really relate to that line. If you didn`t know, I celebrated my 26th birthday on June 24, 2015. Every birthday that I`ve ever had, I`ve looked forward to. I planned parties, organized trips, time off from work, etc. But this birthday was different. It didn`t feel the same this year. Usually, I`m anticipating the 24th. "What am I gonna wear?", "I need to loose some weight!", "I need home girl to take my shift!" Nope. Not this year. I was in the airport traveling for work because I. NEED. MONEY. I spent the months before planning new insurance and thinking about how I`m only 4 years away from 30. I can`t even click the 18-25 age group on job applications now. I`m starting to think about stability and stuff. All the bagels and sandwich breads are going to my hips. I`m attrac...

SHIFT YOUR ENERGY

"Get ready for a shift." Aight so boom... I used to think that only crazy, unfortunate things happened to me . Like, I was the only one to be chubby and teased as a child, I was the only clumsy kid who dropped everything, I never really won anything, I was the only one in the world who tried to make a mother's day spread and it end up being too salty to eat. At one point, I started calling myself "Bad Luck Brit". Whatever energy you put out comes back to you. Photo: Sierra Campbell Because of those experiences, I went through most of life almost always expecting things to turn out for the worst. I mean, I would think of the most horrible case scenario for every situation. Me: *Gets a new job* Also, Me: "Watch, I'm gone get fired for this pink hair and nose ring." Me: *Meets a nice man* Also, Me: "Watch, he gone have a secret relationship, a hidden baby and commitment issues." See what I'm saying? There...

SWIPE RIGHT FOR THE ONE TIME

" I need a date for Valentine's Day " or " Another Valentine's Day...Alone ." or " 2 more weeks til Valentine's Day, who's gonna be my date ?" First of all, why have we been stressing about this day since the end of December? Secondly, I need a "pre-date" before I go out with you on Valentine's Day. What if you end up being crazy? What if you're boring and I don't like you? Then when we go out, I end up seeing the guy that I really like. Now I gotta peace you out. You ain't about to mess up a potential marriage for me. Hell. As crazy as this may sound to you, I never really saw Valentine's Day as a day to be miserable and in my feelings about the man who's not here rubbing my feet. I do that on Tuesdays. I remember being a little girl seeing my daddy walk through the door with balloons, flowers, cards, teddy bears, candies and cakes for me and my mother every Valentine's Day. We could always expect ...