"I need a date for Valentine's Day" or "Another Valentine's Day...Alone." or "2 more weeks til Valentine's Day, who's gonna be my date?" First of all, why have we been stressing about this day since the end of December? Secondly, I need a "pre-date" before I go out with you on Valentine's Day. What if you end up being crazy? What if you're boring and I don't like you? Then when we go out, I end up seeing the guy that I really like. Now I gotta peace you out. You ain't about to mess up a potential marriage for me. Hell.
As crazy as this may sound to you, I never really saw Valentine's Day as a day to be miserable and in my feelings about the man who's not here rubbing my feet. I do that on Tuesdays.
I remember being a little girl seeing my daddy walk through the door with balloons, flowers, cards, teddy bears, candies and cakes for me and my mother every Valentine's Day. We could always expect a trifling little ice cream cake to eat one piece of and sit in the freezer and get old until the next February rolled around. It's the thought that counts, right? I could never say that I didn't have a Valentine, because it was always my dad. Then it was that random person that you pick out of a jar of names in elementary. Then, me and my friends started to send roses to each other's class in high school. Then, there was college, and my adult life, and hell, grocery money is a GREAT way to say "I Love You", so that bottle of wine and chips and salsa were my Valentine. They still are. I need to call them and make sure we still on for Sunday.
So here I am, 2016 and dateless for Valentine's Day. And I am totally okay with that. Look, I've shared some of my dating background with ya'll before so don't act surprised. To me, this day is no different than any other one. I'm going to watch ya'll get on social media and talk about how in love you are, how lonely you are, how much you hate your baby mama/daddy, and then post some pictures of your evening. And I'll be sitting here drinking some wine and fighting the urge to download an internet dating app and swipe through my bored-ness. See? Same as every weekend.
Speaking of which, let's just say I have REALLY broadened my horizons in my dating life or lack there of this year. As we know, internet dating has been around for some years now. Ya'll know me, I'm old school. So when someone mentioned downloading an app for dating, I thought that was pretty insane. I mean dang, don't ya'll watch Lifetime, Criminal Minds, CSI, Law and Order, SOMETHING?! I'm not trying to have one of these internet freaks tie me up and put me in a trash bag, or find out dude got a wife and 7 kids on the side. I was like, no thanks.
But then one day.............. I got bored. DUN DUN. (Law and Order sound)
Sit back down, I'm gone tell ya'll a quick little story before I let you go.
When I moved to LA, I was bored. I didn't have many friends there and had nothing to do between work and walking to California Donuts on Fridays. I had been talking to a few of my homegirls who had somehow, convinced me that I should "Try internet dating", they said. "It will be fun!", they said. Well it was interesting for a while, until the sh!+ got old.
At first, I was paying careful attention to who I swiped left and who I swiped right. And then I found myself doing this during dinner in my apartment every, SINGLE, and I do mean SINGLE night. Then, I started to feel sorry for myself and said "Oh what the hell" and swiped everybody to the right.
For those of you unfamiliar with the "swipe left, swipe right" terms: Right = Like It, Left = Hate It
From my experience, there are only 3 types of guys you will run into on there:
1.The Freak - Pretty much speaks for itself. He makes it very clear what he's on there for. He can't wait to get your number and send you a few pics (if you know what I'm saying).
2.The Crazy Fool - He gets anxious when you don't reply right away and starts sending crazy messages "Oh, well I guess you're not interested anymore" Dang man, can I eat lunch?? Or, you get as far as a phone conversation, and he already wants to move you in or have you meet up for some weird date.
3.The Magician - You might actually like this guy, but when he finds out you got some sense and not going for the okie doke, he suddenly disappears.
Listen, ya'll are crazy as hell on these apps and I don't have time. Brothas, I'm sure ya'll are running into some of the same things.
After months of playing on these apps, I have come to the conclusion that I am INDEED the old school chick that ya'll make me out to be. I'd rather meet by having mutual friends, at a bar, at work, or hell, a inbox on Facebook is better than them crazy apps.
The moral of the story is, after all of those swipes, ya'll STILL wasn't right. And I still have a date with my wine, chips and salsa on February 14th. Guys, just have fun with it. Single isn't that bad. At least you don't have to give damn about anyone else but yourself this weekend. And no one is going to ask you if you're going to eat the last piece of that Patty Pie. You straight. Shake it off homie.
It's. Just. One. Day.
P.S. If you happen to come across me on that app, swipe right. I got good credit.
Happy Love Day!
-BRIT
As crazy as this may sound to you, I never really saw Valentine's Day as a day to be miserable and in my feelings about the man who's not here rubbing my feet. I do that on Tuesdays.
I remember being a little girl seeing my daddy walk through the door with balloons, flowers, cards, teddy bears, candies and cakes for me and my mother every Valentine's Day. We could always expect a trifling little ice cream cake to eat one piece of and sit in the freezer and get old until the next February rolled around. It's the thought that counts, right? I could never say that I didn't have a Valentine, because it was always my dad. Then it was that random person that you pick out of a jar of names in elementary. Then, me and my friends started to send roses to each other's class in high school. Then, there was college, and my adult life, and hell, grocery money is a GREAT way to say "I Love You", so that bottle of wine and chips and salsa were my Valentine. They still are. I need to call them and make sure we still on for Sunday.
So here I am, 2016 and dateless for Valentine's Day. And I am totally okay with that. Look, I've shared some of my dating background with ya'll before so don't act surprised. To me, this day is no different than any other one. I'm going to watch ya'll get on social media and talk about how in love you are, how lonely you are, how much you hate your baby mama/daddy, and then post some pictures of your evening. And I'll be sitting here drinking some wine and fighting the urge to download an internet dating app and swipe through my bored-ness. See? Same as every weekend.
Speaking of which, let's just say I have REALLY broadened my horizons in my dating life or lack there of this year. As we know, internet dating has been around for some years now. Ya'll know me, I'm old school. So when someone mentioned downloading an app for dating, I thought that was pretty insane. I mean dang, don't ya'll watch Lifetime, Criminal Minds, CSI, Law and Order, SOMETHING?! I'm not trying to have one of these internet freaks tie me up and put me in a trash bag, or find out dude got a wife and 7 kids on the side. I was like, no thanks.
But then one day.............. I got bored. DUN DUN. (Law and Order sound)
Sit back down, I'm gone tell ya'll a quick little story before I let you go.
When I moved to LA, I was bored. I didn't have many friends there and had nothing to do between work and walking to California Donuts on Fridays. I had been talking to a few of my homegirls who had somehow, convinced me that I should "Try internet dating", they said. "It will be fun!", they said. Well it was interesting for a while, until the sh!+ got old.
At first, I was paying careful attention to who I swiped left and who I swiped right. And then I found myself doing this during dinner in my apartment every, SINGLE, and I do mean SINGLE night. Then, I started to feel sorry for myself and said "Oh what the hell" and swiped everybody to the right.
For those of you unfamiliar with the "swipe left, swipe right" terms: Right = Like It, Left = Hate It
From my experience, there are only 3 types of guys you will run into on there:
1.The Freak - Pretty much speaks for itself. He makes it very clear what he's on there for. He can't wait to get your number and send you a few pics (if you know what I'm saying).
2.The Crazy Fool - He gets anxious when you don't reply right away and starts sending crazy messages "Oh, well I guess you're not interested anymore" Dang man, can I eat lunch?? Or, you get as far as a phone conversation, and he already wants to move you in or have you meet up for some weird date.
3.The Magician - You might actually like this guy, but when he finds out you got some sense and not going for the okie doke, he suddenly disappears.
Listen, ya'll are crazy as hell on these apps and I don't have time. Brothas, I'm sure ya'll are running into some of the same things.
After months of playing on these apps, I have come to the conclusion that I am INDEED the old school chick that ya'll make me out to be. I'd rather meet by having mutual friends, at a bar, at work, or hell, a inbox on Facebook is better than them crazy apps.
The moral of the story is, after all of those swipes, ya'll STILL wasn't right. And I still have a date with my wine, chips and salsa on February 14th. Guys, just have fun with it. Single isn't that bad. At least you don't have to give damn about anyone else but yourself this weekend. And no one is going to ask you if you're going to eat the last piece of that Patty Pie. You straight. Shake it off homie.
It's. Just. One. Day.
P.S. If you happen to come across me on that app, swipe right. I got good credit.
Happy Love Day!
-BRIT
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