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I CAN'T MAKE THIS UP

"What's the name of that color you have on your lips? What is your make-up routine" Listen, the only make-up routine I have, is to hurry up and do the basics before I go to work in the morning and usually put my lipstick on in the car because I haven't eaten yet. Ya'll know I wake up at the last minute and eat breakfast on the way, I likes my sleep.

For the past few years there's been this whole make-up craze going on. I mean there are YouTube tutorials, Instagram pages and entire careers dedicated to just doing make-up. I have to say, I have been very impressed and I have also learned a lot. There are so many different ways to apply so many different types of make-up. But let me tell ya'll something, I don't have time for all of that. I see women putting themselves through a 20 step routine every single day. Meanwhile, I'm sitting over here like, "what the hell does contour mean?". Don't get me wrong, when I'm getting ready for a night on the town, I will absolutely call my sister-in-law to put like 5 different color eye shadows on my eyes so that I can look grown and sexy, but for an every day thing, just get me a good moisturizer and some foundation that won't break me out. Ya'll can keep them fake lashes that look like bird feathers too. Like, how do you see girl? Dang.

I look at the 14 and 15 year old girls of today, and they look my age and older with all of this make-up. When I was that age, I was still learning how to walk in heels, asking my daddy to take me to the mall, and learning how to shop for bra. These little girls are already in Victoria Secret lingerie and got more booty pictures on the internet than Kim K. Where is my belt? Ya'll need to learn.

I guess I was never really the girly girl type. I never played in my mom's make-up, I felt weird even wearing it for dance recitals, I always wanted sneakers instead of heels and yoga pants instead of dresses. I wasn't doing nan yoga either. Ya'll, I just started having a make-up routine and wearing heels two weeks ago. Just kidding, I been getting sexy longer than that.

Look, it's already enough that I have to do my hair. Now ya'll got me watching YouTube videos and playing in make-up on Saturday nights hoping that somebody call and ask me to go somewhere so people can see me. It's sure is expensive being a girl.

Meanwhile, dudes are just out here sexy as hell with a 20 dollar haircut. I hate ya'll.

-BRIT

 

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