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LONELINESS: EVERYBODY CAN'T GO


"It's cool, I can just go by myself."

 Okay so, I hope you didn't come on this post looking for something sad. I'm not the one that's gone cry with you today.

Alexa, play "Not Gone Cry" by Mary J. Blige.

Photo: Sierra Campbell

You know, I used to think that it was weird for me to feel lonely. I never even wanted to hear myself say that word. I thought that meant that it was something wrong with me and saying it out loud would make it too real.

You would think that I'd be used to it by now. I spent 6 years, miles away from my family, starting at the age of 18, while I was in school. After that, I moved half way across the country, alone. Then, I picked up and moved miles away again and here we are. Alone. On a cold October night.

My whole life, I've been surrounded by love. I was blessed to be born into a family where the time and attention was plentiful. I never had to worry about having someone to talk to because they were always there. Of course, as I got older and went through life, I made friends of my own. Those friends became my family and even they would participate in the family functions and holidays. But of course, as you get older some of those friendships drift a part and that's normal. But, at least I always knew I had my family...

 September 24, 2008 was the first time I ever knew what it meant to feel lonely. After receiving the news about my father's death, I immediately left class, packed a bag and went to the airport. It was crowded that day. I remember squeezing through people to get to my gate. Out of all of the people that were in that airport, to me, the world felt empty just because I knew my daddy wasn't in it anymore.

Photo: Prolly My Mama or Somebody

*Hey! I told you we not crying today. My daddy raised a G.*

If you know me, you know that I always try to see the lesson in things. Maybe it's one of my coping mechanisms, I don't know. But I feel like that day prepared me for the many experiences that I would take on being alone. It helped me to realize that my journey is my own and everybody can't go. Yes, sometimes you lose family members along the way, sometimes you have to move away from your support system and sometimes you have to let friends go. It happens.

Please hear me on this: The moral of the story is, LONELINESS is a part of life. You should never feel ashamed for being lonely. It took me 10 years to admit that to myself out loud. And once I did, I was able to accept where I was at that moment, be sad about it, and move on. I always say this to myself "Yea, I'd like somebody to hang with. But today is not that day for me. Maybe tomorrow." And I go on about my business and enjoy my own company. Because let me tell you, I'd rather be alone than with somebody that's gone get on my nerves. Hell, I enjoy my own company so much, I don't even want to be bothered with ya'll.

Look, if you wanna go to that concert, get dressed up and step out by yourself. If you want brunch, get a table for one! The wait is shorter anyway.

Be easy. We all washed up and lonely. Join the club.

-BRIT
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