Britney Annice

"I'm about to go get a coffee from downstairs. You want something?" Now, I’ve gone ghost and been ghosted before. The guy I really liked will link back up with his ex. Another guy will figure out that I’m never going to sleep with him and he’ll disappear. One might leave because I live too far and he got warrants in my neighborhood. The possibilities are endless. But y’all, you reach a whole new level when you get ghosted by your cafe. I ain’t THAT ugly. I wanna tell y'all a quick little story about how I got my feelings hurt. It was late September, 2016. I had just moved back to Chicago. I was so excited about my cute little neighborhood where everything from trains, to buses to local eateries were accessible by foot. One of the first things I noticed upon moving in was the quaint little cafe just steps away from my building. Every morning when I'd walk to the train, there would be people sitting outside having coffee on the patio. Parents taking th...

"I'm trying to build something with you." "Let's work on this project together." "I'm tired. I'll post on Aintbritfunny next week. " Hey ya'll! Happy April! It's the 4th month of 2018 and I know that many of us set goals for ourselves in all areas of our lives. Maybe it was a gym goal, career goal, or even a relationship goal. Shoot, maybe it was all of them. It doesn't matter. What matters is your consistency and persistence to reach them. And I'm gonna go even further and say... even if it's not something you call a "goal", if you say you're going to do something, do it. Nobody likes a wishy washy, hot and cold, "uhhh let me get back to you" all the damn time, person. If y'all thought this was going to be a "hope all is well with you" post, then y'all don't know me very well. Come on in and have a seat. I won't keep you very long today, I'm hungry and gotta ...

"What did you just say?" "It's not lady like to say those words." "Watch ya mouth." Times When I enjoying Cussing: -When I'm mad -When I'm rapping (Aintbritrapping ?) -When I'm acting -When I'm telling a story Okay, the kitchen might get a little steamy today so if you can't take the heat, you better get out now. Y'all know I love to laugh and hearing people cuss has always tickled me. I especially loved hearing older black women say those words so cool. I mean, they would say it so fast and so good, it would leave you like "Dang, did she just say what I think she said?" Now, while I do enjoy cussing, I hate the word "bitch". It really gets under my skin. And no, I don't care how it's used. If you ever hear me refer to you as such, we not friends. It's funny because I always have to have this "Don't call me that" discussion with people at some point and it's really a...

"I'm going to call and ask my Dad to fix it." "Me and my Dad are having a dinner date tomorrow" It took me a long time to decide to write this post. I get really iffy when it comes to talking about the loss of my father because I don’t want or need anybody to pity me or feel like they have to find the right words to say. You know how black people try to comfort you, “Damn. That’s crazy. You gone be cool tho.” Or “I don’t even know what to say to you fam, I hear you though. Let me know if you need something” or they just look at you while you cry and be like “Damn. You good?" Why y'all so awkward? I specifically remember a time when I was on the road traveling for work a few years ago. I had some downtime so I walked to a local cafe for lunch. While I was sitting there, I noticed a young mother with 2 children and an older man who she referred to as "Dad." Yes, I was that close. Yes, I was being hella nosy. No, I am not a creeper. I sat...

"Who did your hair?" "How do you have the patience for all of that?" "My homegirl can do your hair, let me put you on." Like most women, I've had my fair share of bad hair days, ugly hair stages, and terrible beauticians. And THAT my friends, is why I choose to do my own hair. I mean, who knows what you want better than you? Yeah, you might end up looking like the Great Value version of the girl who's hair tutorial you were following on YouTube, but at least you're not broke AND looking like trash. That's the worst. For a short time, I actually entertained the idea of going to hair school. I was like, "You know what? I do my own hair all the time. I would love to make money by making people feel beautiful" and the shallow part of me was like, "If I get a job in a unisex shop, I can see sexy dudes all day!" Why am I like this? Ya'll, I thought that I had really thought of a master plan. Goodbye childcare, hel...

"I'm logging off all social media today." "My man/ woman is good to me EVERYDAY of the year." "I don't do Hallmark holidays." Look, I get it. Hell, I've been single so long, sometimes, I feel like I'm the poster child for single black women. It's hard to get on the Internet, minding your own business, just to be flooded with photos and posts about happy relationships for 24 hours straight. You probably weren't even thinking about a relationship today and here they go... "All on ya timeline. Dancing." (Shug Knight voice). Now look at you. You've quickly become the "Mr. Grinch" that stole Valentine's day. You're making bitter posts talking about "I don't know why y'all out here wasting all this money on these h***" or "Whatever girl, he gone be with his side chick tomorrow". You're moping around your apartment. You're scrolling through pictures of you and your e...

"Yo a** always somewhere eating a cupcake. Why don't you write about that?" -My loving brother Y'all, I love sweets. The past couple of weeks, I've been trying to be good to my body, but it's very hard for me to pass up an opportunity to try a new dessert. Especially a cupcake. I don't know what it is. I will take a cupcake over an actual slice of cake any day. I just feel like all cakes tastes better in the cupcake form. And they're just so little and cute! I LOVE little things. Little cakes, little bottles of water, little cans of soda (yes soda, not pop), little bottles of dressing, little babies... just... anything little, okay? Except little money and little men. I'm 5'8. No thanks, homie. So, one weekend, I was bored and craving a cupcake. It was a nice day so I went out cupcake hopping. I enjoyed myself so much, that I decided to make this a thing and share my experiences with you. Cupcake Hopping: Much like club hopping or bar ho...