"You never know who's watching you" I was always told this as a child. Most of the time, I think it was to creep me out and scare me into believing that my parents would find out what I did even if I thought no one saw me. Mission accomplished. But, as I got older, that saying meant so much more. Like now, I feel like it means, your ex is probably creeping on your social media, so don't post any ugly pictures. Just kidding, there's a real point to this blog post.
They say (whoever "they" is) that you may go through a quarter life crisis at 25. Well, I thought it skipped me because I was actually having the time of my life at 25. Things were moving along great! At least I thought so. But then I turned 26. *DUN DUN* (that's the Law and Order sound.) I swear to you, within that first week of me being 26, everything around me started going crazy. Well, to start it off, I came home to my LA apartment after traveling for work, only to get comfortable, go into my kitchen cabinet for tea and find a huge roach. I spent most of that night sitting in my car crying, wondering how I was going to live under those conditions and follow my dreams of getting my acting career off of the ground in LA, at the same time. Then, I went back to the house and shot up the cabinets cause that roach was real disrespectful.
But yo, can I keep it real with y'all right quick? I'm still wrapping my mind around that whole journey. It all happened so fast. I think Kendrick Lamar called it "Survivors Guilt". When I first came home, I was just glad to be in a clean house again. I was proud that I had gone to LA and I told myself, that's all that matters, at least I tried. Over time, that wasn't enough, I'd forgotten about that dirty apartment, the crappy job, the fact that I'd ran out of money, my horrible apartment search and so many other things. Instead, I've been thinking, damn, I had an agent there, I was doing stuff with BlackandSexyTV, why didn't things come through for me? Why didn't I just stick it out? We had a whole party to celebrate that ish! I feel guilty for surviving my situation instead of being grateful that it didn't sink me into a deep depression like so many other stories I hear.
Just a couple of weeks ago, as I was writing my blog posts, I stopped and asked my mom "Why am I doing this? Where is this going to get me? What's the point?" She simply replied, "because you're good at it and you never know who's watching you". A few days later, there were people contacting me saying how much they enjoy the posts and how it brightens their day. They have no idea how much that brightened mine. At that point, I really understood the real purpose of Aintbritfunny. None of those people were sexy men, in case you were wondering.
The moral of the story is, keep your head up. You may not understand your story now, but that's because it's still being written. Don't be discouraged.
If you get sad, call me and we can go half on a bottle of Hennessy. I chase mine with apple juice.
-BRIT
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