Skip to main content

A BACK UP PLAN, FOR MY BACK UP PLAN

"Maybe I should go to bar tending school. I think I`d be good at that." So, I guess I`m at this really weird stage in my life where I feel like I should have a back up plan, for my back up plan. Ya know, just in case something doesn't work out. Well, I haven't quite had anything that has "worked out" yet, but see, I kind of have this dream of paying my bills by entertaining people for a living. Or I could just give it all up, marry a ball player, be a real housewife of St. Louis and fight other women on T.V, we`ll see what happens.

After college, I got my first full time job as a teacher. I thought that was the smartest move to make because I figured, I`d teach in the day and audition in the evening. Wrong, for so many different reasons. My days as a teacher were long, there was no time for auditions and I honestly didn't really care for it anyway. I totally switched back up plans and went a whole different route with job choices. Most of my jobs have had nothing to do with my degree. Guys, that what happens when you go to art school. Unless you're lucky. If you have a good job job in your field, I hate you.

Lately, I've been having some of the most ridiculous thoughts running through my head. Like "Maybe I should go to a barber school", I mean, how hard can it be to learn to cut men`s hair? Men aren't as picky as women right? I might meet the love of my life with that job. It`s better than getting a Tinder account. That`s multitasking. Make ya money, get the honey (Did y'all like what I just did there?). Now y'all know I can`t be a barber. What am I going to do if somebody sexy sits in my chair? Y`all know my hands get shaky when I`m nervous. What if I accidentally cut him with the razor and he start shooting? I don't know, in my head, all bad scenarios end with somebody shooting. Or, what if he doesn't tip me? Now I got to rob him while he walking to his car at night. I don't play about my money.

Look, I don't know where I might end up. I might be making your drinks in the club, snatching weaves out on t.v, making lesson plans for your kids or getting shot at by some pissed off, sexy dude with an uneven lining. Who knows? In the mean time, just keep coming back to Aintbritfunny and listen to me complain.

Let me know if you need you need your grass cut or something. I charge about $150. I need to borrow your lawn mower though.

-BRIT

 

Comments

  1. Ronald BoboOctober 8, 2015 at 12:35 PM

    Brit, you are VERY funny! I didn't know this and I've known you all of your life! I think we need to talk. I would love to use your gifts in a variety of places!
    Ronald Bobo, Sr.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Britney AnniceOctober 8, 2015 at 7:17 PM

      Thank you so much for visiting! Yes, would love to talk to you more about it!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

SHIFT YOUR ENERGY

"Get ready for a shift." Aight so boom... I used to think that only crazy, unfortunate things happened to me . Like, I was the only one to be chubby and teased as a child, I was the only clumsy kid who dropped everything, I never really won anything, I was the only one in the world who tried to make a mother's day spread and it end up being too salty to eat. At one point, I started calling myself "Bad Luck Brit". Whatever energy you put out comes back to you. Photo: Sierra Campbell Because of those experiences, I went through most of life almost always expecting things to turn out for the worst. I mean, I would think of the most horrible case scenario for every situation. Me: *Gets a new job* Also, Me: "Watch, I'm gone get fired for this pink hair and nose ring." Me: *Meets a nice man* Also, Me: "Watch, he gone have a secret relationship, a hidden baby and commitment issues." See what I'm saying? There...
Post a Comment
Read more

JUNE 24TH FOR THE 26TH TIME

"This year I turn 26, damn it seem it came so quick. My ass and legs have gotten thick." Those are words from the great Erykah Badu. I tweaked the age a little bit. Man, I can really relate to that line. If you didn`t know, I celebrated my 26th birthday on June 24, 2015. Every birthday that I`ve ever had, I`ve looked forward to. I planned parties, organized trips, time off from work, etc. But this birthday was different. It didn`t feel the same this year. Usually, I`m anticipating the 24th. "What am I gonna wear?", "I need to loose some weight!", "I need home girl to take my shift!" Nope. Not this year. I was in the airport traveling for work because I. NEED. MONEY. I spent the months before planning new insurance and thinking about how I`m only 4 years away from 30. I can`t even click the 18-25 age group on job applications now. I`m starting to think about stability and stuff. All the bagels and sandwich breads are going to my hips. I`m attrac...
1 comment
Read more

SWIPE RIGHT FOR THE ONE TIME

" I need a date for Valentine's Day " or " Another Valentine's Day...Alone ." or " 2 more weeks til Valentine's Day, who's gonna be my date ?" First of all, why have we been stressing about this day since the end of December? Secondly, I need a "pre-date" before I go out with you on Valentine's Day. What if you end up being crazy? What if you're boring and I don't like you? Then when we go out, I end up seeing the guy that I really like. Now I gotta peace you out. You ain't about to mess up a potential marriage for me. Hell. As crazy as this may sound to you, I never really saw Valentine's Day as a day to be miserable and in my feelings about the man who's not here rubbing my feet. I do that on Tuesdays. I remember being a little girl seeing my daddy walk through the door with balloons, flowers, cards, teddy bears, candies and cakes for me and my mother every Valentine's Day. We could always expect ...
Post a Comment
Read more