"We will be in touch with you after the interview either way"
"Hey, why don't I take your number so we can go out sometime?"
"Let's make plans for the weekend"
Look, I don't need anybody to sugar coat anything for me. I'm a big girl. I might get mad if I give you money and you waste it on something silly, or if you waste my drank on the floor at the club but, if you waste my time, I can't get that back! Now, its time for me to bust a cap or 17 off up in you. Because now, you playing with my emotions. And ya'll KNOW I'm sensitive.
Okay guys, I get it. Sometimes, the truth hurts. It not only hurts to hear the truth but also to speak the truth. You know, like when they ask for your weight on your driver's license and you know good and well you ain't been 120 1bs in 120 years. Or, when your mom asks you if you took the chicken out of the freezer and you KNOW you forgot to do it. Or, when homeboy asks you to send him a picture and you know the picture you're sending is from 6 months ago and not 6 minutes ago. I understand. We all get caught up, but you would be surprised at the relief you get from just keeping it real from the jump.
This is the part where I start to rant. You ready? Fasten your seat belts....
Look, we both know I am only applying to this job because I need money. We know how this goes. You call me in for an interview, you pretend you care about your job, I pretend I care about your job. We have this awkward conversation, I fill out some paperwork and we shake hands. Now, you can either say, "Thank you for coming in" and proceed to walk me out of your office or "If you don't hear from me by Friday, best of luck to you in your future endeavors" but, DO NOT say, "You will hear from me either way" and have me sitting by my computer waiting for your email while listening to Mary J. Blige. And not the "no hateration holleration dancery" happy Mary J. Blige either. I'm talking about the sad, black lipstick, "not gone cry" Mary.
Wait, there's more....
DO NOT ask me for my number or any piece of my information if you are not going to use it. I cannot tell ya'll how many guys have my digits just floating around in their contacts. For what? We know how this works. You see me, you like me, you have a conversation with me, you decide you're interested enough to ask me for my number. Now, you could of said "Nice talking to you" and walked away and we could of forgotten about each other the next day or, you could of just left me the hell alone. There's always that. Brothas, let's clear the air, you are in no way obligated to ask a lady for her number after a conversation with her if you are not going to actually use it. And when I say "use it" I don't mean sending her a bunch of "lol's" and "good mornings", have some substance to your conversations. Hell, I'm giving ya'll permission to delete my number right now if it's sitting in your phone and you're not using it.
*Hold on boo... I ain't mean that.... call me. Please.*
Listen, all I'm saying is, be a person of your word. Girl, don't have me going to Nordstrom Rack for a new fit if you already know you're going to cancel the plans anyway. Don't tell that candidate you will be in touch when you know you're about to put their resume in the shredder as soon as they leave. And don't be all up in shorty face blocking the real man if you don't really dig her.
The moral of the story is, stop wasting folks time. They obviously thought enough of you to share something so valuable with you. Treat it as such. Keep it real. And if you don't mean them any good, keep it moving. I mean, don't you think that's wasting your time too?
But hey, what do I know?
-BRIT
"Hey, why don't I take your number so we can go out sometime?"
"Let's make plans for the weekend"
Look, I don't need anybody to sugar coat anything for me. I'm a big girl. I might get mad if I give you money and you waste it on something silly, or if you waste my drank on the floor at the club but, if you waste my time, I can't get that back! Now, its time for me to bust a cap or 17 off up in you. Because now, you playing with my emotions. And ya'll KNOW I'm sensitive.
Okay guys, I get it. Sometimes, the truth hurts. It not only hurts to hear the truth but also to speak the truth. You know, like when they ask for your weight on your driver's license and you know good and well you ain't been 120 1bs in 120 years. Or, when your mom asks you if you took the chicken out of the freezer and you KNOW you forgot to do it. Or, when homeboy asks you to send him a picture and you know the picture you're sending is from 6 months ago and not 6 minutes ago. I understand. We all get caught up, but you would be surprised at the relief you get from just keeping it real from the jump.
This is the part where I start to rant. You ready? Fasten your seat belts....
Look, we both know I am only applying to this job because I need money. We know how this goes. You call me in for an interview, you pretend you care about your job, I pretend I care about your job. We have this awkward conversation, I fill out some paperwork and we shake hands. Now, you can either say, "Thank you for coming in" and proceed to walk me out of your office or "If you don't hear from me by Friday, best of luck to you in your future endeavors" but, DO NOT say, "You will hear from me either way" and have me sitting by my computer waiting for your email while listening to Mary J. Blige. And not the "no hateration holleration dancery" happy Mary J. Blige either. I'm talking about the sad, black lipstick, "not gone cry" Mary.
Wait, there's more....
DO NOT ask me for my number or any piece of my information if you are not going to use it. I cannot tell ya'll how many guys have my digits just floating around in their contacts. For what? We know how this works. You see me, you like me, you have a conversation with me, you decide you're interested enough to ask me for my number. Now, you could of said "Nice talking to you" and walked away and we could of forgotten about each other the next day or, you could of just left me the hell alone. There's always that. Brothas, let's clear the air, you are in no way obligated to ask a lady for her number after a conversation with her if you are not going to actually use it. And when I say "use it" I don't mean sending her a bunch of "lol's" and "good mornings", have some substance to your conversations. Hell, I'm giving ya'll permission to delete my number right now if it's sitting in your phone and you're not using it.
*Hold on boo... I ain't mean that.... call me. Please.*
Listen, all I'm saying is, be a person of your word. Girl, don't have me going to Nordstrom Rack for a new fit if you already know you're going to cancel the plans anyway. Don't tell that candidate you will be in touch when you know you're about to put their resume in the shredder as soon as they leave. And don't be all up in shorty face blocking the real man if you don't really dig her.
The moral of the story is, stop wasting folks time. They obviously thought enough of you to share something so valuable with you. Treat it as such. Keep it real. And if you don't mean them any good, keep it moving. I mean, don't you think that's wasting your time too?
But hey, what do I know?
-BRIT
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