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Resons Why I`m Not Coming Over

I`m a homebody. I hate leaving my apartment. When I`m not with my apartment, I`m thinking about it. Sometimes, I call and text it to see what its doing while I`m away. That`s not weird at all, right?

I was never really big on sleepovers as a little girl. I mean, I didn`t mind my friends sleeping over my house but I never wanted to go over there. What if I get hungry in the middle of the night? I can`t just get up and go in your refrigerator. If want some juice, I have to ask you to get it for me. Why your mama keep it so cold in this house? I`m freezing in this thin little sheet that you gave me to wrap up in. Where do ya`ll keep the face towels? How am I supposed to dry off my hands in the bathroom? I thought everyone kept those cute paper towels by their bathroom sink. See? You don`t want me to spend the night.

This is the main reason why the roommate thing just isn`t my cup of tea. Been there, done that. Speaking of tea, I`ll always offer a warm cup with lemon and agave nectar upon entering my home. If I really like you, I`ll even add a shot of Hennessy in there for you. Ya`ll ain`t grown enough to kick it with me.

Moral of the story is, make your home enjoyable for others if you`re going to invite someone over. Don`t have me fishing for the extra toilet paper in the cabinets. Be ready and willing to set out that wifi password. Make sure you have extra blankets. Young man, put the toilet seat down. Sista, sweep up the weave in the bathroom. Let`s make this visit easy for everyone.

-BRIT


Comments

  1. UnknownJuly 16, 2015 at 12:32 PM

    Gurla!! Lol i never had a prob staying over at other ppls house as long as the didn't have any vicious animals (cats with claws, dogs bigger than a puppy or any other animals that weren't the first 2) and they had a game system(s) or movies if they didn't have cable. Oh, there had to be more than one kid in the house bcuz if i get into it with one, I gotta able to go to the sis room n talk bad about them til she make me mad and i go back to the other ones room. Plus, I'm a night owl so while errybodys asleep I'm up watching tv on mute til about 4 or 5 in the morning. 😁

    Girl, i was too afraid to ask for anything so if i got hungry during the night, I'd sneak into the kitchen and get something quiet and make sure I didn't eat enuff to make it noticeable some was missing. If I got thirsty in the middle of the night I'd go right into the bathroom, turn the faucet on super low and drink lil handfuls of water til my thirst was quenched. #sneaky

    When i had my apt i made sure my first time visitors couldn't see a speck of hair on the sink or the floor and i had a full roll of TP on deck. Doors to the rooms were closed bcuz A) nuthing in there pertains to today's visit and B) it's prolly a royal mess in there. But I agree the home should be welcoming. Especially if you've got a ffffffffiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnneee ass dude coming to "kick it". We'll def want him back for another guest appearance. 😉

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