Skip to main content

JUST STAY AT THE HOUSE

"Ugh, I`m so bored, let me call somebody and see if they wanna go out" Let me tell y`all something, sometimes its better to just stay your tail at the house, okay? You know you don't have that much gas anyway. You gotta get to work the rest of the week and you don't get paid til Friday, plus, you don't have food at the house so you got to buy lunch on Wednesday. Trust me, you gone be hella mad if you go out and its wack. Now, you done spent too much money on long island ice teas trying to tolerate the horrible night you're having or the horrible person you're hanging out with. That drink ain't strong enough man, it ain't strong enough.

I saw a meme that tickled my soul. It said "You ever be chilling with somebody, and the whole time, you thinking about never chilling with them again?" That meme was almost too real. Now, I`m not usually the type that hangs out with just anybody, but in the past years, Ive become more open minded or bored and desperate, whatever. You ever wish you could UN-hang out with somebody? I mean, you done put on a fly fit just to be annoyed, pissed or bored all night. You know, you got those people that NEVER bring enough money, so you front them a few dollars and they swear they gone give it back, but you never see that money again. Then, you got those people that thinks the whole night revolves around them so you have to listen to them whine about the person they are dating or not dating the entire evening. Then, of course, there`s the one person that begs you to come out but, they disappear multiple times throughout the night, so you spend your whole evening watching their purse and looking for them. Dude, just stay at home, its not worth it.

You ever see someone from your past that you haven't seen in a long time, and they seem to be really excited to see you but you have no idea why? Like, you were never friends with this person but they act like you were so close. "Oh what`s your number? We're gonna have to keep in touch" Like, why? Why are we keeping in touch? We were never in touch to begin with. Why don`t you just add me on Facebook and stop being weird. I always walk away from those situations feeling violated. Like, was I just robbed for my phone number? But if I say no, I`m rude, huh? Now, I`m about to be forced to hang out with this person or change my number. Y'all know I've had this number since college. What if one of my old dudes decide to start acting right? Now he gone have the wrong number. I can't take that chance. You know you gotta get him before he slip up and have some kids.

Anyway, the moral of the story is, stay at the house. A bottle of wine at the grocery store is cheaper than a glass at the bar. You probably need your hair done too.

-BRIT 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

JUNE 24TH FOR THE 26TH TIME

"This year I turn 26, damn it seem it came so quick. My ass and legs have gotten thick." Those are words from the great Erykah Badu. I tweaked the age a little bit. Man, I can really relate to that line. If you didn`t know, I celebrated my 26th birthday on June 24, 2015. Every birthday that I`ve ever had, I`ve looked forward to. I planned parties, organized trips, time off from work, etc. But this birthday was different. It didn`t feel the same this year. Usually, I`m anticipating the 24th. "What am I gonna wear?", "I need to loose some weight!", "I need home girl to take my shift!" Nope. Not this year. I was in the airport traveling for work because I. NEED. MONEY. I spent the months before planning new insurance and thinking about how I`m only 4 years away from 30. I can`t even click the 18-25 age group on job applications now. I`m starting to think about stability and stuff. All the bagels and sandwich breads are going to my hips. I`m attrac...

SWIPE RIGHT FOR THE ONE TIME

" I need a date for Valentine's Day " or " Another Valentine's Day...Alone ." or " 2 more weeks til Valentine's Day, who's gonna be my date ?" First of all, why have we been stressing about this day since the end of December? Secondly, I need a "pre-date" before I go out with you on Valentine's Day. What if you end up being crazy? What if you're boring and I don't like you? Then when we go out, I end up seeing the guy that I really like. Now I gotta peace you out. You ain't about to mess up a potential marriage for me. Hell. As crazy as this may sound to you, I never really saw Valentine's Day as a day to be miserable and in my feelings about the man who's not here rubbing my feet. I do that on Tuesdays. I remember being a little girl seeing my daddy walk through the door with balloons, flowers, cards, teddy bears, candies and cakes for me and my mother every Valentine's Day. We could always expect ...

GET OUT OF MY JEANS, MAN

"Nothing like a man in a suit" You can hear this in most conversations between women. I would have to agree. There is nothing like a man in a suit, a well tailored suit that is. Okay, I know what you might be thinking, here goes Britney being critical of appearance again. But hear me out guys, there`s a way to do everything. Your pants in ya booty or below it, is not the way. I`m not proud of some of the things I did in my earlier years when I was out here thinking that I knew everything. One of those things is dating those guys that, ya know, are a little rough around the edges. Excuse me, A LOT of rough around the edges. Its not that I didn't want to date a nice guy. I actually would like to take all of the guys I've dated and wrap them up into one big, sloppy, sexy, handsome man. Like, he wears tailored suits during the week, basketball shorts with a hint of sag at night and slightly skinny jeans on Saturdays. I don't know, somewhere on a scale from gangst...