Skip to main content

DO FOODIES AND GYM RATS MIX?

"Yeah, I'm a personal trainer, nah, I don't eat meat or cake or anything else delicious." What you mean dude? But, I met you in a bakery. Oh, you were just there to buy some green juice? Why would you go to a bakery just for some healthy juice? Why won't you eat fat with me sometimes? I hate you, you sexy beast.

Listen, I am a foodie. If I had money, I'd travel the world just to try delicious foods. I also love to try my hand at new recipes in my own kitchen, I don't care if it's a pastry or veggie soup, if it sounds delicious, I'll try it. I enjoy preparing dishes for my family and friends. Just the thought of me making something that they really enjoy gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. Side note, why is it okay to feel fuzzy on the inside? Shouldn't you be going to see a doctor about that?

Anyway, if you sexy and kind of got some sense, I might be able to heat up the stove and cook something for you. But if all you want to do is blend up your food like you're 7 months old, then you might not be ready. Who the hell am I dating, the Gerber baby? You better try this stuffed chicken and rice. I made this with love, man. Let me broaden your horizons and introduce you to some new things. (Maybe I should put that line in my tinder bio, that sounded good didn't it? Don't act like you wouldn't swipe right for me.)

Now let me say this, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a man that takes care of his body and works out. I'm sure all women would agree that it's very attractive. But it's kind of weird and intimidating when all you have to talk about is eating your veggies, drinking your protein shakes and the fact that gym is life. Oh and lets not forget the millions of shirtless selfies and pictures and videos of you in the gym working out ever so hard. Like, who is recording these videos? Do you have to post them every single day? Are you really even working out? I'm not about to play with ya'll.

On the flip side though? I am looking for a personal trainer. Maybe you can help a sista out. Just lighten up a little bit. Guys, you can still go hard in the gym and have a piece of cake sometimes. Everything in moderation.

The moral of the story is, it's 2016, can you help me get a six pack? And in the meantime, can I touch yours?

Just playing.

Unless ya gone do it.

I got my shoes on, I'll be over here waiting. I don't wanna run nowhere though. We can just walk really fast.

-BRIT

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN

"I need a break." I have to say, I have been finding the internet to be exceptionally entertaining and funny lately. I'm always cracking up at someone's Instagram post, a meme on Facebook, or some random footage from Twitter. But then, there's the negativity, which is extremely draining. Y'all, I don't care how bad things get in my life, please, please, please, don't let me get on the internet arguing with people that don't have a profile picture and misspelling stuff trying to send a subliminal message to my man. Just... take my phone... okay? Photo: Stephen Nitz When I broke up with my last boyfriend, which was in the year 1802, I purposely took a short break from social media. I was upset and when I'm upset, like most folk, I have a tendency to make that apparent. I'd found myself clapping back at someone on social media once before and I was like "Britney girl, what you doin'? Ain't that why you got a blog?...

BRIT AIN`T JUST FUNNY

"So are you scared to kiss?" Guys, I`m the most awkward actress when it comes to love scenes. I know what you're thinking. "You're a comedic actress, why are you doing love scenes?", the answer is, because I`m sexy and desirable and dudes want to kiss me on camera. No seriously, I do a lot more than comedy. Making people laugh just happens to be one of my strong points. I am always open to more serious roles and I can do a pretty good job, if I say so myself! I've played everything from an old lady, to an old man, to a sexy new girl on the job (that was back when I could still fit them Abercrombie jeans). Oh my gosh y'all, let me tell you about the first time I had to kiss a guy on stage. First of all, I had a crush on him to begin with. My teacher grouped us together on purpose and gave us a scene as husband and wife. Our first day of rehearsal he asks me, "So are you scared to kiss?" In the back of my head I'm like "Yeah, we ...

SIMON SAYS: CHILL OUT

"I'm just not feeling it right now." Lately, I've had a lack of creativity. I usually feel like I'm bursting with so many ideas that I can't write them down fast enough. I don't know if it's writer's block, I'm uninspired or maybe I'm just so relaxed from the hot girl summer, that I'm not motivated to do anything but take pictures with a lil bit of cleavage showing so that somebody's son can slide into my DM's for cuffing season. Photo: My Mama Yeah. That's prolly what it is. We live in a world where they try to tell us that "Rich people don't sleep" or, folks are constantly pushing this "No days off" narrative. But, if we are constantly working ourselves to death, where do we find the time to be still so that we can hear what the next move is supposed to be? Photo: The homie Sarita This time last year, I made a promise to myself that I was going to go hard for my bra...