PATIENCE: BE PRESENT IN YOUR JOURNEY

"It will happen, just be patient."

So, within the past 4 weeks of September, I've been making a conscious effort to look within myself and try to become a better me. Because sometimes, I'm not living my best life and I am going back and forth with ya'll.

*Alexa? Play "Smile (Living My Best Life)" by Lil Duval.*

Photo: Sierra Campbell

I started off the first week by being DISCIPLINED enough to gain control over my thoughts, emotions and actions. The second week, I made it a point to FOCUS on making conscious efforts to have a positive attitude and remember why I set goals for myself in the first place. Last week, I wanted to make sure that I stayed CONSISTENT in those goals and to hold myself accountable at all times. But, with all of that being said, I have to remember to be PATIENT with myself in the process.

I feel like for the past 2 years, I've been spazzing out about turning 30. I can't even begin to tell you all of the things that I thought I would have in order by now. Let's start with money. Hell, in my mind, I'm supposed to be on my "yacht ish" by now like Issa Rae.

I am almost 100 percent sure that most of my anxiety comes from the pressure that I put on myself. If something doesn't happen for me right away or when I think it should or how I think it should, I'm ready to throw in the towel. I lose my patience and that's when the negative energy comes in, with it's sneaky a$$.

I often do this thing where I will feel comfortable enough to speak a positive thought such as, "I think that audition went really well!" but then, I'll retract it by saying something like, "But I always feel like that, and they never cast me." Ya'll, that is crazy as hell. I need to stop. My family tells me. My friends call me out on it too. What I have realized is that I have conditioned myself to always "expect the worst" and "never get my hopes up". When in reality, I'm not fooling anybody but myself.

Imma cry in the car. I ALWAYS cry in the car.

Ya'll, the moral of the story is, BE PRESENT. You can't worry about tomorrow. Who promised you that? Do what you can to make today great. Be PATIENT with yourself. Okay, maybe you didn't get that role, that job or that person and maybe that makes you sad. Guess what? You can be sad. Give yourself time to feel. You're human. After that, get back on your grind. Ask yourself if the thing that you're worrying so much about can be solved. If so, solve it. If not, sleep on it and try again the next day. As I speak to ya'll, I'm speaking to myself.

These last few weeks have been some of the most eye opening, fulfilling weeks that I've had in a long time! I've been so consistent with ya'll on these internets that I forgot to call my friends back. But it doesn't stop here. See you next week!

-BRIT