Skip to main content

EAT THE CAKE

" #GymLife " Okay we get it, you work out. Fit is the new fabulous. Yes, your meal prep dishes are beautiful. We see you, checking in at the gym every night. That's awesome. Working out is good for you. I`m happy that you are in tune with your body and living a healthy lifestyle. However, I just had a really rough day and I`m about to go indulge in a box of a dozen different types of donuts. No, I haven't been to the gym today, nor do I plan on working out. I`m just gonna go home, eat these donuts, and blog about how I hate working out and you better not say nothing about it.

I've never really been the type to work out. I've been pretty active off and on throughout my life so I never had a desire to go to the gym. In 6th and 7th grade I got into sports. I played volleyball, which I really enjoyed, and basketball, which was fun, minus all that running back and forth on the court. I also danced from the age of 10 to 18. I actually thought that I was going to have a career in dance. I looked into the dance program at Columbia and it scared the hell out of me. By that time, I understood that dance was just recreational for me, not a career choice. Even though I didn't choose to be a dancer, I still continued to live a very active life in Chicago. Well, I didn't have a car during those six years, so I had to walk everywhere. I eventually changed my eating habits and made healthier choices too. I never even kept sweets and junk in my apartment because I knew how tempting it would be. Y'all, I got hella skinny in 2012.

In 2013, I decided to move back to St. Louis. I was like "It`s cool, I`m not gaining any of that weight back. I`m staying skinny for life." I guess I had forgotten about my grandmother`s delicious pound cake, my mom`s Saturday morning breakfast, and the fact that it`s ALWAYS ice cream here. There I was in a house full of delicious food and amazing cooks. I woke up one morning, opened my closet, and pulled out my favorite ripped up jeans. Y'all, I tore a brand new hole in them jeans that day trying to get my big ole butt in there. I said, "Naw this cant be right" so I got back in the bed and went back to sleep because I HAD to be dreaming. I was hella mad.

The next step? I got a gym membership. I hate the gym, but I was desperate. I had never belonged to a gym before and it was just how I imagined. It was like the club. A fashion show. Most people were there to show off their work out gear and take selfies. I was actually there to talk to the cutie at the front desk. I mean, I was actually there to work out. To me, it was a waste of time. I can go for a run around the neighborhood or work out in the comfort of my own home just fine. Y'all know I like to wear booty shorts when I work out. It makes me feel sexy. Like the skinny chick on the DVD. I can`
t be doing all of that in the gym.

Look, the truth is, your body is going to experience change throughout your life. Like, I don't know where these hips came from but I didn't invite them. I may be trying to work on getting rid of them, but I`m also learning to fall in love with them and the rest of my body in the process. Being skinny is not in my genes. Hell, I`m a black woman anyway. Curves were always in my future.

The moral of the story is, eat the damn cake. You can work out later. Don`t be that annoying person that`s always talking about how many calories are in my snacks. How about you get yourself a plate and enjoy these delicious treats. Who cares about the calories?

Thanks for reading, fatty.

-BRIT




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN

"I need a break." I have to say, I have been finding the internet to be exceptionally entertaining and funny lately. I'm always cracking up at someone's Instagram post, a meme on Facebook, or some random footage from Twitter. But then, there's the negativity, which is extremely draining. Y'all, I don't care how bad things get in my life, please, please, please, don't let me get on the internet arguing with people that don't have a profile picture and misspelling stuff trying to send a subliminal message to my man. Just... take my phone... okay? Photo: Stephen Nitz When I broke up with my last boyfriend, which was in the year 1802, I purposely took a short break from social media. I was upset and when I'm upset, like most folk, I have a tendency to make that apparent. I'd found myself clapping back at someone on social media once before and I was like "Britney girl, what you doin'? Ain't that why you got a blog?&quo

BRIT AIN`T JUST FUNNY

"So are you scared to kiss?" Guys, I`m the most awkward actress when it comes to love scenes. I know what you're thinking. "You're a comedic actress, why are you doing love scenes?", the answer is, because I`m sexy and desirable and dudes want to kiss me on camera. No seriously, I do a lot more than comedy. Making people laugh just happens to be one of my strong points. I am always open to more serious roles and I can do a pretty good job, if I say so myself! I've played everything from an old lady, to an old man, to a sexy new girl on the job (that was back when I could still fit them Abercrombie jeans). Oh my gosh y'all, let me tell you about the first time I had to kiss a guy on stage. First of all, I had a crush on him to begin with. My teacher grouped us together on purpose and gave us a scene as husband and wife. Our first day of rehearsal he asks me, "So are you scared to kiss?" In the back of my head I'm like "Yeah, we

SIMON SAYS: CHILL OUT

"I'm just not feeling it right now." Lately, I've had a lack of creativity. I usually feel like I'm bursting with so many ideas that I can't write them down fast enough. I don't know if it's writer's block, I'm uninspired or maybe I'm just so relaxed from the hot girl summer, that I'm not motivated to do anything but take pictures with a lil bit of cleavage showing so that somebody's son can slide into my DM's for cuffing season. Photo: My Mama Yeah. That's prolly what it is. We live in a world where they try to tell us that "Rich people don't sleep" or, folks are constantly pushing this "No days off" narrative. But, if we are constantly working ourselves to death, where do we find the time to be still so that we can hear what the next move is supposed to be? Photo: The homie Sarita This time last year, I made a promise to myself that I was going to go hard for my bra